Saturday, December 8, 2012

I survived!

Examination is over! And I've recoverd from my hangover that I'd like to blame on the adrenalin although there might be som alcohol involved...

So someone might be curious how a dance examination happen. Well. I woke up in the morning, rolled out of bed and in to the kitchen, where I found this:

Which immedatly made my day a little better.

After a shower and som lunch I went to school.

First we had a warmup with our modern teacher. It was the one we normally do, only our teacher had to remind us to breath a few more times than normal. And then the exam started.

Our teachers and the school headmasters filed in and sat down by the mirrors. The music was turned on. And we danced. To be honest, I don't remember much of it. I just went for it.

The hardest part was switching modes. From doing ballet exercises to do a modern combination and then a Fosse-inspired jazzcombination.

It all went well, I know that much. But I turned my brain on in jazz. I started thinking. I fucked it up. At least the last pirouette.

After one hour it was over. At first everybody cheered and hugged and jumped around, but then the adrenalin slowly disappeared and everybody turned quiet. We sat on the floor waiting for the teachers to end their conference. Dreading it, beacause when they were finished we'd have individual talks with them.

People cried. I was one of them. I'm not going to tell you why or what exacly the teachers said, but some I will share. Like my jazz teacher told me to find fire and try myself out. Which is basically code for "get out of your head". Suprise!

And I was asked why I dance. That's what's been occupying my mind pretty much ever since (save for my drunkest hours last night) and that was what I was going to write about today. But I think this post is long enough as it is, so I'll save it for later.

Anyways. The day was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and it ended with a swiss fondue party in a (swiss) classmates appartment. Pretty good ending if you ask me.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

December has come!

Which means it's almost christmas. Yay^^

I've put up dekorations in my room, and already been to one christmas party. Plus the christmas calendar on swedish television seems really nice this year. One of the awesome things about internet. I can still watch it although I live in Germany.

So all in all, this sunday has been really relaxing, a nice break from all the other days this week.

Our examination is coming up. As a matter of fact it's on friday. And although I've told everybody, including myself, that I'm cool about it, I'm not. And I don't know why. They're not going to kick anybody out, and I know my thecnique is pretty good. Still, I'm nervous. And not just a little bit nervous, as you are sometimes, but it borders to anxiety. I know I'm not the only one. One of my classmates is going to a theraphist beacause her anxiety started to give her physical pain. Luckily, I'm not that bad (yet). I think the reason why I'm so nervous is that I'm afraid that I wont be able to show them the best version of me. Which is just silly!

I know the steps, I have the thecnique. I just need to get out of my head! Show them some personality.

It's all gonna be alright.

I just wish I wouldn't have to do jazz in my ballet clothes.